


Like the old days

by moon_in_daylight



Series: Dhawan!Master one shots [5]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:46:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_in_daylight/pseuds/moon_in_daylight
Summary: Adapting back to a normal human life isn’t easy after having travelled the universe, but the thought of facing The Master again is somehow even harder.
Relationships: The Master (Dhawan)/Reader, The Master/Reader
Series: Dhawan!Master one shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1782526
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	Like the old days

The first weeks without The Master had been hard.

It was normal, you supposed, if you took into consideration all the time you had spent together and everything the two of you had been through.

While being with him, you had seen the most impossible events take place right in front of your eyes. Things deep down you knew you could have never witness if you had stayed with The Doctor instead: The blinding light of an exploding star, the ruins of countless civilizations turned to ash and dust under your feet… One morning he had taken you to see the birth of the universe just to show you the death of it that very same evening. He had offered you the entirety of space and time with no restrictions, no obligations. Only one rule for you to follow, a rule that you had eventually disobeyed: Not to get in the way of his plans.

For the first days after parting ways you couldn’t help but to feel angry at him.

How could he condemn you back to your boring human life that easily? Did you mean so little to him after all those adventures, after all the times you had helped him work through his evil plans and schemes? It had only been once that you had refused to follow his commands. The first and only time you couldn’t bring yourself to do as you were told was when you found yourself incapable of killing some bratty alien teen that was heir to their planet’s throne.

You tried to, you really did, but you simply didn’t have that in you. Looking at the brat in the eye, you immediately felt incapable of taking a step forward and dig your knife in his chest. As The Master telepathically commanded you over and over to perform your task from across the room, you panicked and decided to back away. You knew you were disappointing him, especially hearing his thoughts echoing inside your own mind, but you were no killer. You had never killed someone before and you preferred to back away before someone caught you plotting against that planet’s monarchy. Unluckily for you, one of the guards noticed the weapon you tried to hide under your sleeve as you were about to walk outside the throne room.

Because of your cowardice, according to what the Time Lord screamed at you after barely escaping the planet alive, his plan had been turned apart. No one else to blame but you for the failure. Of course you did everything you could to explain yourself, to make him understand you, but he refused to listen to anything you said. He simply landed his TARDIS back on Earth and gestured you to abandon his ship, shouting at you to do so when you begged him repeatedly to let you stay with tears filling your eyes.

What a tool.

You didn’t need him, and you definitely weren’t going to miss his volatile temper and his sarcastic, uncalled for and sometimes sadistic comments.

Then why did you feel so upset? You told yourself it was because with him flew your chance of exploring the universe, knowing very well that you couldn’t crawl back to The Doctor after all the chaos you had helped spread around. You were stuck on Earth now and the only reason you would ever want him back was your desire to travel the stars. If only you had your own TARDIS…

But after the first week you started to notice his absence everywhere. You did anything and everything to distract yourself, but you couldn’t prevent your mind to wander back to him every few minutes. Questions clouded your mind as you wondered what could he possibly be doing, what planet would he be tearing to pieces at the moment or whether if you had crossed his mind at least once since he had kicked you out. It was pointless to keep thinking about it, but for some time you couldn’t help yourself from looking numbly out of the window, daydreaming about his TARDIS materializing in your backyard and him taking you back to live your next adventure, like he used to do during the old days.

Deep in your heart you had the hope that maybe your daydream could one day become a reality again. You and The Master had lived so many things together… You had been by Missy’s side after her past incarnation had shot her in the back, you had held her hand moments before she regenerated in who she was now, and you had looked after her new body during the days after her regeneration. It was after that that he – you assumed she was a he now when he asked you to refer to him as The Master instead of Missy – decided it could be useful, or at least entertaining, to keep you around.

It had been almost 3 years travelling time and space side by side, causing trouble and escaping death day after day. Having fun as you let hell break lose whenever you landed and healing each other wounds when needed. He couldn’t turn his back on everything that you had been through together now, could he?

Well, apparently he could.

It took you a few months to get used to life on Earth again, to push yourself back into a normal routine and be in a good enough mood to complete normal earthly tasks like getting a job or spend your time into anything productive.

It wasn’t in any way easy for you, and it wasn’t a linear progression either. Sometimes when you thought you had definitely gotten over it, you looked up at the sky and all the memories brought you back to square one. You even blamed yourself at times, thinking that if you had had the guts to do what you were told to do, he would have never left you.

But eventually, you got to the point where you finally could stop constantly thinking about the maniac that had put the universe in the palms of your hands just to suddenly take it away from your reach. You got to the point where you could accept that there were far worse things than living a normal human life, that you could and you would live without him.

You had finally gotten that idea inside that stubborn head of yours when one night you thought you heard the smooth landing of his TARDIS right outside your house.

No way. It had been over a year since the last time you had heard that subtle whistle the ship made when it materialized, so much more quiet and unperceived than the one The Doctor’s time machine emitted, but still recognizable to you, who had lived whiting its walls for so long. Your heart instantly raced just by hearing that sound, the feeling that getting reunited with The Master was possible once again clouding your better judgement for barely a second.

You shook your head as you tried to push those thoughts away. Most likely, you were imagining things. He wasn’t coming back. He had had plenty of time to do so, he was clearly not changing his mind all of a sudden. Probably what you thought you heard was caused by your exhausted mind playing tricks on you as you were about to fall asleep.

Convincing yourself that it was all in your head, you rolled on your side under the sheets as you tried to quiet down your nerves and attempted to fall asleep to put an end to yet another ordinary day.

But when you heard a loud noise coming from outside of your room all your suspicions aroused again.

Once again, you tried to calm yourself and think logically. Maybe it wasn’t The Master, maybe some burglar had entered your house in the middle of the night, or maybe one of the cats that roamed around your neighborhood had found its way in through the window you sometimes forgot to close. There was countless possibilities to what the source of that noise could have been, but you feared that the only way of actually finding out was to go check it out.

As you slowly crawled out of bed and walked through the darkened hallway, you hoped and prayed that the cat theory was the one to become a reality, the burglar one a close second favorite. You literally would rather have any random person breaking into your house than finding yourself face to face with him again.

That’s why you physically felt your chest aching when you discerned his unmistakable silhouette standing in the middle of your living room.

Turning on the lights, you faced his cold stare gazing back at you but you weren’t able to hold it back for more than a few seconds. Your attention wandered to his appearance instead. It had been a while since the last time you had seen him, but in your memories he didn’t look as rough as he seemed right now. The locks of hair fell untidily in front of his face, his clothes were covered in dirt and dry blood and some scratches covered the visible skin of his knuckles. 

Truth was, you had pictured what being reunited with him would have been like since the first moment you stepped a foot out of his TARDIS. Inside your head, he came back full of regret and after apologizing, he begged you to get back with him. You had gone through what that conversation would be like thousands of times. Sometimes you simply forgave him and accepted his proposal, other times you played hard to get and made him implore for you to come back… And your more recent version, you threw him a speech about how good your life had been without him and how you didn’t need him anymore. Either way, you had been over that hypothetical conversation so many times that you always thought you would knew exactly what to say if the situation took place.

Now, looking at him, you couldn’t find anything to say. And judging by the silence that had filled the room, he couldn’t either.

“Master…” His name felt strange rolling out of your tongue for the first time in so long. “Is everything alright?”

He didn’t answer your question, but you could see inside those big brown eyes of his that it had been kind of stupid of you to ask that in the first place. Since the very first time you had met Missy you had been well aware of the unstable state of the Time Lord. You had seen him snap countless times over the course of years, you had seen what he was capable of when he got furious… Yet you had never seen him this shattered, this… Broken.

“What happened?” Your voice was soft as you carefully approached him, in fear that if you moved too fast or spoke too loud you would scare him off. With extreme tenderness you grabbed one of his hands and examined the wounds of it, your thumb gently brushing his fingers. “What have you done?”

“What needed to be done.” You looked up at him when you heard his words, looking for further explanation. “I’ve destroyed Gallifrey.”

During the time you had spent with him, you had learned that The Master wasn’t the biggest fan of his home planet. He didn’t exactly cherish his memories of it, often refusing to tell you about the place that had made him who he was and only talking about his times at the Academy when he was in a particularly good mood. It was no secret that he hated Gallifrey, but he had never expressed any wish to burn it down. Not until now. You always thought that his nostalgia of the times when he and The Doctor had been friends was the thing that kept him from nuking his own planet. Apparently that didn’t mean a thing anymore. He had actually razed it, and it looked like a part of him had died in that massacre.

“Why?”

The Master took a step back, getting free of your grip on his hand and turning around to leave.

“Forget that I’ve ever been here.”

It was easy to forget how overly dramatic he could sometimes be after all your time apart. But seeing him walk away like that immediately brought you back to the days when he fiercely avoided telling you what was going on inside his head, when you got too curious and in response he disappeared into the library of his TARDIS for the following days. The only difference was that, if he left now, you wouldn't be seeing him again in a couple of days. This would be your final goodbye. Your last glimpse of him being the one of a broken man.

Considering that you had been without him for so long, you would suppose that you were ready to let him go once and for all. Yet, as soon as he crossed the doorframe, you found yourself following him outside of your house, barefoot and wearing only your pajamas. You called his name repeatedly as you somehow tried to make him see reason. You couldn’t let him go that easily, not after seeing the state he was in. You were worried about him.

Seeing him get inside his TARDIS, you rushed yourself through the time machine’s doors after him, hoping that you were making the right decision.

As soon as you found yourself standing in the console room, you couldn’t help but to feel momentarily shocked as all the memories attached to that place filled your mind. It looked bigger than what you remembered, but nothing had changed since your departure. It was still the same place that appeared in your dreams every few nights.

“Get out.” The Master ordered you as he set the controls for his next destination. In an act of bravery – or stupidity –, you stood still. “Didn’t you hear me? GET OUT!”

“Master.” You pronounced his name again, your heart hammering against your chest. “Why have you come here?”

He turned to you again, his eyes piercing right through you. “I don’t owe you any explanations.”

You and him had gotten into arguments countless times before. How could you not? That was the obvious result of mixing his temper with your stubbornness. But you had never seen him that angry at you. He looked at you in the same way that he would look at any other human, as if you were nothing but an annoyance to him. It broke your heart to realize that, but you weren’t going to give up just because of that. You were there to try and find out what had made him upset to the point of blowing up his own planet, you weren’t leaving unless you found the answers you were looking for.

“You don’t have to tell me about Gallifrey if you don’t want to.” You assured him, keeping a considerable distance between the two of you. “I’m just worried about you.”

Looking at him, you thought you saw him break for a second, the look in his eyes softening for a moment and making him seem vulnerable, afraid. You barely could notice it since he immediately put on his usual front up again.

“Don’t lie to me.” He spat, anger poisoning his words. He tried to mask his emotions by smirking sarcastically at you. “Why would you care about me?”

“Because I do. I always have.” You reminded him. Did he seriously not remember how you had been there for him after Missy died, how you had taken care of him during his regeneration sickness? “That’s why I abandoned The Doctor to be with you.”

When The Master heard his best enemy’s name his façade fell once again. You weren’t sure what had happened, but now you were sure it had something to do with the other Time Lord.

“That’s bullshit.” He insisted. “You’ve always judged me. You’ve always tried to change me. You always thought that you could ‘fix me’.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked in confusion, your eyes on his as you tried to understand what he was really trying to say.

“You never understood me. Not really.” The Master took a step towards you. “You just followed me around like a lost puppy, judging silently everything I did. Thinking you knew better. Do you think I didn’t notice that look of disgust in your face whenever you watched me kill someone, love?” His eyes were burning as he spoke. “I thought that maybe, if you knew what it felt like to take a life you would finally understand… But you think you’re so superior, don’t you? Just like The Doctor. You didn’t understand any of it then, and you won’t do it now.”

Hearing his words you felt tears starting to form in your eyes. That was the real reason why he had abandoned you? Because he thought you wouldn’t understand him unless you killed someone too? You felt your heart breaking inside your chest. How could he think any of that? You had always admired him for his brilliance, his persistence. Why in the world would he think that you would ever consider yourself better than him?

“I’ve never judged you.” You claimed, doing your best to prevent your voice from breaking. “I’ve never asked you to change. I knew who you were before I ever set a foot on this TARDIS and if I had been in any way disgusted by you, I would have never started travelling with you in the first place.” As tears finally started to run through your cheeks, you watched the look on his face softening. “I may not always understand your motives or why you do some of the things you do, but I’ve always been on your side. And if you didn’t believe that, you wouldn’t have come here looking for me.”

The Master cupped your face in between the palms of his hands, cleaning away your tears with the gentle touch of his thumbs. Grabbing both of his hands, you put them away from your face to examine the wounds on them. Even if he was a Time Lord and his biological healing process was faster than yours, he would still need some kind of treatment.

“Let me clean that for you.” You softly offered yourself to help him.

You made your way to the medical bay of the TARDIS to grab some medical supplies before going back to the console room. It was funny how even though the corridors constantly changed and turned themselves into an impossible maze, you always found your way to get where you wanted. This had been your home after all, and The Master’s TARDIS had always liked you for some reason. Yet, on your way back to the console room you found that the TARDIS was guiding you somewhere else: To The Master’s bedroom.

Standing right in front of the closed door you weren’t sure if you should get inside, but you finally made your mind with a reassuring hum of the TARDIS. Inside of the room was The Master, taking off his purple coat. Watching you get in, he sat on the foot of the bed, leaving you some space for you to sit beside him. Taking the place he had made for you, you silently started to wash the blood of his hands and disinfect the wounds of his knuckles. For a second it almost felt as if nothing had ever changed. As if this was just the end of another day of travelling space and living adventures.

“They lied to us.” The Master hissed, clenching his jaw at the burning sensation on his skin. “Everything we were told as children was a lie.”

You didn’t need to ask to know he was talking about Gallifrey. While you kept taking care of his wounds, you heard his explanation about what he had found. About the lie of the Timeless Child and everything the Time Lords had done, why he had decided to destroy his home planet and every living being on it.

Hearing his story, you finally understood why he seemed so broken, why he had felt the need to come back for you after all the time apart. It was too much to bear on his own, but he didn’t have to because he had you. You had spent so much time convincing yourself that you didn’t need The Master when in reality it was him the one who had needed you all along.

“And what are you going to do now?” You asked him after hearing his whole explanation, your body curled up by his side on the bed, your head lying on his chest as you listened the rhythmic beating of his hearts.

“The Doctor needs to know about this.” He mumbled as he caressed the exposed skin of your arm. He interlocked his stare with yours as the thoughts rambled though his head “I have a plan. And there’s a part for you in it, if you want to help.”

Caressing the growing stubble on his cheek, you placed a gentle kiss on his lips before showing him a playful smile.

“Just like the old days.”


End file.
